A Woman's position redefined
By Honourable Tunde Adeleye
Given the partriachial society that we live in, it _conferred_ on man the power to control women economically, physically, emotionally, and psychologically.
To a considerable extent, culture and religion conspired to support and aligne itself to this imbalance of power and repression.
Man was adjudged to be the head or master of the house. And woman was meant to be subservient and cater to man's whims and caprices. Man was the provider. And woman was his designated helper.
As long as woman submitted herself under the authority of man, all would be well and peace would reign. Man would be respected, feared, and his judgment was unappologetically deemed to be final. But no where in that erstwhile concocted blueprint of man's dominion, was man still expected to retain his power and control over woman if he shirked his responsibilities as a man.
For instance, if he failed to bring home the bacon or the bread (even if it was acquired on loan), was he still to be respected, feared and for woman to submit to him?
On the contrary, what makes a man, is his ability to provide for his family through sustainable means and to demonstrate good leadership, extend mutual respect and love for woman.
For a woman will follow man, if man knows where he is going. A man who can't lead or dream, will sooner lose the respect of woman, or worse still, if he suppresses rather than support his partner's (woman) dreams.
Man becomes an empty shell, an inconsequential vessel, and incapable of truly asserting his full authority if he can't provide for, and sustain his family. If he barks and reminds the woman of his headship and authority - should she try and defy him, unknown to him, his head is actually not hanging properly on his neck. This lack of balance is made manifest as he struggles to provide for his family.
In proving to be a man, and working ever so hard to provide the family, it should not be to the detriment of man's health. If he breaks down, it is the same woman, bashed, neglected and oppressed that will pick him up and nurse him back to good health.
However, whether man was able to provide for the family or not, in a loving or abusive relationship, the tables have now turned. A woman's place is no longer confined permanently to the kitchen as a housewife - or the now apt phrase - domestic engineer - for to have done so, will limit her enormous potential and rob her of the innate ability and the power to dream and to achieve great things in life.
Either through long years of endurance and sufferance, a lot of women through sustained feminist movements have found their voice. The emancipation of women through relentless grass roots education, campaigned vigorously that every woman has the fundamental right to enjoy the same equality rights as man.
Nonetheless, a woman's value and contribution to society should not be undermined or underated; as if woman on her own, is not capable of achieving great feats with her intellect, talent and entrepreneurial drive to succeed against all odds, without warming the bed of her supposed benefactor who continues to perceive her as a sex object.
As stated earlier, man has enjoyed the utilisation of power and control to subjugate women in all facets of society.
From the onset, power has actually been domiciled in women's territory, which seemingly makes a mockery of the saying "women are the weaker sex". In the main, I'm referring to a woman's superior mental capacity to withstand and overcome any adversity and come out the stronger for it, a concept that man may not want to subject themselves to.
It is a pity that not many women are aware of the strong unbreakable spirit within them. If they did, they would tap into it more often.
Man's reaction to a woman who is unable or unaware of this natural gift, may seek to repress and control her, making her lose her self esteem in the process. Not surprisingly, man is detached or intimidated by a strong independent and fearless woman who combines her brains, beauty and her own unique power to assert herself. It confuses and throws man into a frenzy if he knows a woman is self-sufficient and is able to take care of herself and ALL her needs, all by her own, without his help or money.
In conclusion, man may flex, huff and puff, batter, demean, abuse and subdue his other half, and at the same time profess his undying love to her in a bid to assert his superiority over her; but in reality without woman, man is lost and so is woman. And almost certainly, neither power or control by either gender comes close to competing with love which inevitably binds both of them together.
